Leave an Empty Chair at Your Seder Table
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In less than a month, at sunset on April 22, Jews around the world will gather with family and friends for the Seder that begins the holiday of Passover.
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As it is written in the Haggadah, the story of how “G‑d took us from Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm” will be retold.
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Rituals that many of us remember from childhood will be observed.
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On the Seder plate will be foods associated with the Passover story. The bitter herb, for instance, meant as a reminder of the bitterness of slavery (or captivity).
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There are recipes prepared just for this holiday, some associated with Ashkenazic, Sephardic, or Mizrahi heritage, and others long-time family favorites.
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During the Seder (from the Hebrew word for “order”), prayers will be recited and songs will be sung.
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Passover is meant to be understood as a story of liberation and freedom.
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Missing from Seder tables in Israel will be Jewish men, women, and children, who made up the vast majority of both the 1,200 people murdered in the Oct. 7 terror attacks and the 240 civilians and soldiers kidnapped and taken into Gaza.
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After that “Black Shabbat,” which fell during the holidays of Simchat Torah and Shmeini Atzeret, pathologists spent weeks identifying the mangled and burned bodies. No hostages have been released since late November, when a few dozen women and children were exchanged for a greater number of Palestinians held in Israeli jails. The government believes that upwards of 30 of the remaining 134 hostages may be dead.
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As you plan your Seder menu and seating arrangements, I want to make a suggestion.
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Set an extra place at the table and leave an empty chair.
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The empty chair at our table will be for Tal Shoham, a 39-year-old husband and father, kidnapped when terrorists attacked Kibbutz Be’eri.
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Tal was kidnapped along with his wife, his two children, his mother-in-law, a cousin of his wife and her daughter. All but Tal were returned on Nov. 25. Three other family members were murdered on Oct. 7.
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The leaves on the branches on that side of the family tree include generations descended from my great-grandfather’s twin brother.
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In late January, one of the Israeli cousins wrote on Facebook (translated from Hebrew): “Our lives stopped on the 7th of October. Time is frozen and we are not yet [at] the day after. And despite this I know that everything has its time, and things will happen. There is time for everything except one thing, those whose lives hang by a thread.”
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As Israel prosecutes its war against Hamas, the global focus has been on the death toll and the humanitarian crisis in Gaza. Release of the hostages — all of the hostages — must be part of any ceasefire agreement.
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Many of the hostage families are beyond frustrated with their government, which they fear has made return of their loved ones a secondary concern.
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They have marched to the military headquarters in Tel Aviv and to the prime minister’s residence in Jerusalem, joined by thousands of other Israelis, demanding accountability for the intelligence and military failures, and associated government policies, that allowed the terror attacks to happen.
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In the weeks immediately after Oct. 7, Shabbat tables were set up in Israel and beyond, including in Atlanta, with empty chairs and photographs of the hostages. There have been fewer such displays since then.
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When Passover begins at sunset on Monday, April 22, 198 days will have elapsed since Oct. 7.
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So, set an extra place and leave an empty chair at your Seder table. For those still held hostage.
Originally published at https://www.atlantajewishtimes.com on March 26, 2024.